Feeding Mouths

Serving others never stops. It doesn’t stop because I’m in a place for three days or when I’m too busy.  It continues on day to day and moment to moment and need to need.

On my way to the museum, I came off the train to the church square where, again, the homeless were sitting there near the stairs. There was a man that was laying down and not moving. His friends were next to him.

How do people just leave these people completely unacknowledged? There are street vendors selling juice, tamales, fruit, and no one acknowledges this man behind them?

It starts to rain and he is still just laying there. I buy him a hamburger, a soda, and I tap him-it takes more than one tap.  His friends say he is sleeping.

“Are you sure he’s just sleeping?”

Finally he bobs his head up, his face is cut up and filfthy. I wish I had a hot wash rag to wash it off.  He was missing a shoe and he was not drinking alcohol. He ate the food and slopped it all over his face. When I was watching him eat, I thought he would like some Colombian pastries. I went back in the same place and got some random pastries. When I came back again, all of them were surprised. 

While I always have a need to help, it’s significantly increased in the "giving food" department. When I’m abroad helping others, I feel the most alive. When I am helping these people, it’s me, but it’s not. It is his spirit that comes through with focusing on serving others at times of need.  

Always remember there is someone less fortunate. Do not allow your own personal agenda get in the way of a human life. PRIS

Mr. Shoe Shine

In front of the Gran white cathedral, I sat and watched this man shining shoes.  He persistently worked shining away and he appeared so determined yet so tired and hungry. He did not have teeth, but he smiled through his eyes. This man truly touched me and I can’t say that about just anyone in this park. He was special and with this kind character I wanted to fill his stomach. When I touched his arm and patted his back, he felt like bones. It was clear he just worked, walked back to the village, and ate ver little. 

 When I came once, he was happy. When I came twice, he was surprised. When I came the next day, we sat down and talked. He shared with me that he lives in a village far away in one of the mountains. I told him where I was from and he looked so happy. It was difficult to understand him, but sometimes the spirit speaks louder than words.

I just felt addicted to his spirit and this interaction specifically was confirmation-I’m in the right place doing the right thing.

Unfortunately, this common job had competition as a few other people were also shining shoes. 

 

This man had these bright, beautiful eyes just staring at me. He was part of God’s kingdom and he would be going to heaven one day.  

 

When it comes to food and sharing, I am definitely not an Angel. As mentioned before I have grown with exposure to cultures, suffering, and with God’s spirit driving me to fill stomachs. In Nicaragua, it’s where my changes were eye opening.  I did not want or need to receive some kind of credit for doing this, but I just had to do it. I had to fill these stomachs to the best of my ability.

This did not just include buying food and giving it away. It included giving away my own food. I would purchase things and rather than eat them I would just hand them off. It was completely strange for me and something only one spirit driving this home.

This happened throughout Nicaragua until I questioned eating myself. How much do I actually need to eat? The meals I don’t eat can’t I just give them away. It was selfless behavior that was happening and I was thankful for the growth. That selfish component with my food and eating everything for me-it diminished. 

It was an eye opening experience into a whole new way to give. Rather than just thinking about what I was eating, I was much more conscious of filling the stomach.

Hunger Deliveries

Of course, it’s not possible for me to just go into a city and not serve. It may be service of therapy, motivation/inspiration to purpose, assistance to a project, a new opportunity, education, giving a self-esteem boost, watching over children etc. There is always, always, always something for me to do in the path of the Lord. It usually involves the interaction with people (on the street, in the church, selling food, at the café, janitors, security guards-those who are human and not engaged in materialistic lives). It’s just constant, constant interaction and serving others through his spirit.


Another element that had been added this trip was the giving and sharing of food.  This practicing of fasting in Morocco lead me to understand how it feels to have an empty stomach. Discipline was built when it comes to food and participating in Ramadan taking days to fast.  When it comes to the food and this city, this turned out to be my main project in front of the church where the homeless were sitting. It was clear I needed to spend some time here. There were many people to initiate conversation with and there were many mouths to feed. This was my project to feed these mouths.

The vendors were selling some nice tacos and tamales with a salad for $1. The drinks, which consist of bags filled with a juice or an artificial drink of color were just .25 cents. This is very common for everyone is Central America to drink from small plastic bags filled with a juice and some ice.

When it came time of 9am and 12noon, these were the times of delivery. The church bells gave me a reminder as my schedule was a bit disorganized in this city.

When it came to my giving, I tried to give to those who demonstrated real need. Children and their mothers, older men in their 50s and 60s (main population present), and the occasional youth. They discussed their hardships, but I tried to focus on their faith and how far that could take them.  One’s faith can move mountains and it can provide a sense of security when feeling lost and hopeless. It was nice to bring in their faith sitting in front of the church. They truly just loved the attention and the fact that they were talking to someone from America. It’s not common for them to have this interaction. It’s something interesting and new for them, which is great.

Many were thankful and a few took the food and disappeared. I tried to monitor who I gave to as there were some who had plenty of food in their bags or already had eaten. It was about addressing the need of those hungry not randomly giving off food to everyone, smiling, and leaving.  Sometimes I did not get the therapy time or the motivational talk I desired, but one piece was accomplished.

Some people looked at me as if I was doing such a great thing. I will continue to say for a lifetime that….

“I just do what I am called to do-nothing less and everything more." PRIS

 

 

Blind And Hungry

It is almost 9 pm and I am walking the streets looking for people to feed. I know that I´m not suppose to be out that late and there I am walking the dark streets with few tourists in sight.  
In my vision, I see a man stumbling around appearing to be lost or confused with his location. 
 He finally sat himself in front of the post office. I wondered what was going on with him. He had this adorable chubby face, blue mittens, and torn up light blue coat. His eyes were wide open, but had no awareness to my presence.

At that point, I realized he was probably blind stumbling around with no stick-great. 
I asked him if he would like some food and he 
didn´t say anything. He does not comprehend what is going on and I am realizing that he does not understand. I told him to just wait for me and I would return shortly. I buy him a can of Orange soda(for some reason I thought he would like that) and a hot dog( probably not the best food to feed a blind person. 

I quickly bring it back and place it in his hand. He smells it and I can finally see the smile I was waiting for(not completely altruistic as I prefer to see a smile). He takes a bit and slops some on the ground. I decide that I'm not sure how the blind people eat a hot dog, but maybe he needs some help. I hold the hot dog and feed it to him bite by bite along with his can of soda.  His happiness is actually present through his eyes and his smile-it's beautiful.  No one around, but two spirits connecting.   For someone blind on the streets, that adds a whole new level of difficulty.  That wouldn't happen in US because there would be many government agencies and state assistance to take care of him. There's only one to watch over him now and that is GOD.

For God's work, you don't seek recognition.  You do it from the heart because you know it's what you were born to do...

 Just born this way.... PRIS

Filling the Stomach

The second part to the sharing of the food involves the physical component of filling the stomach.

From Guatemala to Nicaragua, there was constant food distribution to bus drivers, street workers, kids, homeless, etc. It was a responsibility that was sent down to me and I had to take it. This does not mean I was starving because I always had enough to eat, but I took more recognition to those who didn't.

In Leon, I surprised myself with how concerned I actually was with these street people eating. The people in the church were being fed three days a week.  There was space for more people in the church; therefore I tried to inform those who were on the streets.  A couple of them followed through and others did not show up, which is expected for this population. 

Clearly, just informing them of the food distribution was not enough. After 7pm, there were many homeless hanging out in the church square.  Instead of just giving to anyone, I tried to target those who are truly suffering and in need. 

After sometime, there seemed to really be no sensor because I just felt so bad.  I had to do something for these people.  I had to fill their stomachs(friend).
As much I would like to take credit for this expression, I cannot because it came from my Turkish friend. He was good looking, tall, and thin with some possible ribs showing. One day walking on the beach, I said, "Why don't you eat more?"

He said, " I just eat to fill my stomach."

This was what I was doing in Leon, I was trying to fill people's stomach buying them street food whether a tamale, chicken and rice, fried foods, pizza etc.  If someone had an empty stomach and I knew about it, it was my responsibility to fill it. These moments where I buy food for myself and I just give it away. Priscilla does not do that, but the holy spirit does.  It gives and gives and gives to those who need because we don't need all that we're given. I don't need to run around looking for the perfect meal rather I need to eat some gallo pinto and call it a night.

The housekeeper at my b&b made this delicious Gallo pinto(rice, beans, and hot peppers) and they were kind enough to share it with me.  This was all I wanted to eat every night was Gallo pinto and avocado if I could find it.  Instead of getting fish or something with some different sides, I gave myself Gallo Pinto and fed the street.  This was not a big sacrifice because I loved, loved Maria's gallo pinto. 

This may seem noble to those who believe that giving food is the solution.  Those who believe its "a nice thing to help out." This is something that more tourists could be doing independent of any organization.  It´s not a commitment for them, but it is one for me.   With the amount of tourists that come in, the streets could be fed if they each one gave food once a night.

Of course, there are those organizations who are working with the homeless population to decrease poverty. But when I am walking 
the streets all I saw were hungry eyes and empty stomachs, the street poverty will always exist in one way or another. It´s easy to purchase some food and sit with them.  Try to have a conversation and if you can´t-sing them a song, make them laugh, let them tell you a story, etc. 


Among the Guatemala and Nicaragua night visits, I had some regular customers that I had to attend to, especially those who touched my heart. 

There was one who walked around with ugh boots and had no awareness into who I was and why I gave him food.  He just enjoyed it and filled his stomach-important.  

There were two older ladies who always smelled like cigarette smoke and they had no teeth. They would always smile and with that I had to always give. 

There was a beautiful older man who always slept near the fountain, there was a lady who wore a bright yellow rain coat, and there was a blind man.....

Sharing of Food

With my passion for good food, there always was that selfish, greedy, obsessive compulsive element. I didn't want people touching my food, I didn't want to share my cookies, I didn't want people to ask for food-putting me in that uncomfortable situation to give it.  Of course, I would volunteer in soup kitchens, which is just expected for anyone.  When it came to really sharing, I just did not want to share food period.

In Morocco, things seemed to change with the food sharing. I lived in a country where their culture was based on sharing food.  People would not eat until everyone was present. The women spent so much time cooking the food. Sometimes the couscous took 12-14 hours. When prepared it was delicious and it was worth the wait. Even when you were hungry, it was worth it to wait for food and then sit around and share it.  Six or seven people would all sit around and place their spoons into one dish.  When it came to the fruit plate, people would sit around and dip their fork into one large dish.  There was no concern about double dipping, germs, or sickness.  People were sharing the food with one another and it was a beautiful, holy experience. 

Sharing food is not just friendly and kind, but it is holy.  People who are feeling hunger and do not have something should be given food. It's the right thing to do according to your religion.  The religion of Morocco is Islam and people believe in the five pillars. In the fourth pillar, they are asked to give to the needy. Not everyone engages in this, but I remember my friend who cooked food and brought it to the shelter twice a week.  The sharing of a homemade food is quite generous and true sharing.  This holy sharing of food should be experienced by those less fortunate not just amongst family and friends. 

After Morocco, there was something about this experience that changed me. Before Morocco, there were moments traveling buying food and giving it to those who need it. What was different was the convenience eating vs. conscious eating. This time, I found a different meaning for food rather than just eating to satisfy. Most people just eat without even realizing where the food came from and how holy that food truly can be. 

Instead of eating by convenience, I spent time cooking my food.  In Morocco, you have to go to the market, find the spices, cut the vegetables, make the cous cous-everything takes time. Sometimes it felt like, "Is all my time being spent cooking?"

Later, I became appreciative of having this period of waiting for food because I became more appreciative of it.  The longer we have to wait for food, the more likely we are to appreciate it. The holy experience is felt when you give food, not just satisfaction, but appreciation for the time, efforts, and the holy meal. 

Food gives our soul light and lets your true love find it´s way in...PRIS 

With Will God gives a Way

After long conversations on the bus and after the bus and during lunch, my being felt overwhelmed with all that the MH community needed.  I felt like that typical American who wanted to just come in and fix everything with a blind eye. Although, I know how to tame the idealist and turn her into the realist quickly. Priscilla is about 10 years ahead of the junior humanitarians.

After one of my community chats with Mrs. Francis-she brought me right back into reality and regained my focus. They needed my expertise, my attention, my psych social education- not my pocket book. 

Still, I was thinking of how much of my expertise I could put to use in short time. Could I apply for a grant or get a sponsor? Of course it would not happen in 2 weeks, but could I start establishing those contacts?  A computer her could help gaining resources and applying for grants. Then the 4 computers for the center would come later.

As I analyzed myself the next day, I realized my heart was getting involved as I was emotionally connecting to her words and wanting to be super woman. 

Mrs. Francis was right it was time to work with these children, youth, and mothers. Talk with the mothers about parenting, abuse, youth address violence and anger, and kids learning activities to identify feelings and social skills. Home visits into the homes to see the family dynamics, talk with the Pastor, explore the community supports and emphasize them- oh there was enough group for at least 10 therapists. 

With the kids being out of school and the Christian camp just ended, it was clear what we needed to do. 

We have all these kids out of school and we need them to come together to do group activities. Mrs. Ravel said that she received a sponsor last summer who gave her money for snacks and supplies to keep the kids busy, but she did not hear back yet to see if they could assist this year, but she said with confidence, "We don't need them."

I looked at this woman with such admiration in my eyes. 

"You're right, we don't need them."

 "What do we have for supplies." 

"We have markers, paper, some tissue paper, and crayons. We have the church space that was given to us by the Pastor. There is no electricity though so we would have to finish before dark. Is that okay for you? 

"Let's do it. We can work with what we have and I'll just have to be extra creative." 

Mrs. Ravel went around the neighborhood by bike to tell everyone we were having a summer camp for a week and a half.  It's name was Believe in Me Summer camp:)