Over It

Priscilla is the type of person that when she is over something- she's over it. When her mind is set, it's set and it's just a point of no return.

When it comes to going out to bars and clubs, I'm over it and I have been over it for a few years. It's been a life closer to my core values which are avoidant of negative behaviors- not for family or friends, but for myself and my belief system. I am allowing myself to return to my 16 year old self caring about books, studying, friendships, learning, and ministry. It was a mind of purity that wanted to avoid negative things. It wasn't perfect, but focused on the core values that were important.

Clubs were never important until I let them become important. I focused on going to the best and most popular places, being VIP, and dressing in a new outfit each time. While I love fancy hotel restaurants, lounges, and bars- my attendance is not a common occurrence. I do enjoy beautiful ambiance in nice hotels, but clubs with drinking and hip hop music or some top 40 non-sense, there is not one drop of interest. I would rather be cooking, reading, writing, exploring art, out in nature, having a real conversation and connecting, or sleeping.

This sweet girl at my hotel asked me to go out again on Saturday, which was a full day for me staying out on the streets until 9:30pm and getting back to the hotel at 10:15 after finally finding my way. I guess this would what people do-go out, but I just wanted to lay low.  Also, I know what she meant with "go out."  It didn't mean upscale, it meant bars drinking beer and vodka/tonics-no thank you and no gracias. While I feel bad saying "No", the desire is just not there. I told her if she wanted to take a run, go hiking, eat some food, take a walk, check out an Art gallery,go swimming, go eat, picnic in the park-basically anything active outdoors I'm interested!

 Sorry girls for not being social, but Priscilla is just oh so over it. 

Everything has Changed

When it comes to the number 30, it’s not the actual number rather it’s the moving into a new decade. The decade of the 20s and 30s are very different for me. It really started in the late 20s. I just became more aware of my thoughts, my action, my behavior, my reactions, my attitude, my desires, my wastes of time, my productivity, my true core being, and my life choices.


With the ten years of living large and living life to the fullest, life was   great, but something was missing.  The ability to prioritize things was out of place. While self-improvement was always a priority, there were so many things I could have done, but I didn’t take full action.


Opportunities did pass me up as I could have got into acting and event planning, but I didn’t. I worked hard and I stayed on a purposeful track helping others. Perhaps that is the way it was suppose to be. As human beings, we are greedy with our accomplishments and we always feel like we could do more. 

I could have traveled more when younger

I could have spent less time on face book.

I could have been or done something different

I could have spent more time writing.

I could have invested less time in relationships

I could have listened more to God and less to people who don’t understand my life

I could have utilized more support in times of need

I could have been more of a leader

Everyone has these real thoughts that present themselves time in and time out.  It just takes a realization that You did the best with the cards you were dealt and that’s all God would want from you. 

When it comes to this statement, “Everything has Changed,” this could not be more true at 30. Some things have changed for the better and others for the worst.  Life still keeps moving, I keep the faith, and I appreciate what I’ve learned. I couldn’t be happier to have the mind that I do. It’s like all the experiences-professional and personal are in overdrive spilling out of my brain.


The creativity, the entrepreneurial ideas, the rate of efficiency, the analysis of people, and the power of my faith. I feel like I learned enough about people to truly read them. This is a special skill, which I am the most proud of and benefits me in work, travel, spiritually, and internally.  There is just an element of peace that has come over. I don’t feel the need to accomplish and do everything. I am content with my life just writing, traveling, educating, therapy/counseling, and just being of service to others at all times.  The need for constant socialization is replaced with the need for constant service to others and building my relationship with God. 

 

Also, when it comes to outside the brain.  I’m so much more comfortable in my skin as I never truly felt beautiful. I was so insecure with my body image, especially living in Los Angeles and New York and even Chicago.

At 30, I can confidently say, “I am beautiful inside and out.” While people do comment on my “beauty,” I appreciate it, but it’s not necessary. The stamp of approval is not needed because I feel it in my own skin. It took time for that confidence to come to my life. An element of peace has come over my life and my body.

Mind+Thoughts+Action+Habit+Destiny=

                           30 

French Bully Pris

On the bus, there was a French father, his 17 year old son and his 14 year old daughter. I know this because I was originally talking to them being my nice friendly self.  These were the type of French that people talk about and say, “They’re not friendly.” The father was nice, but his children were arrogant, rude, and disrespectful. They would not talk or even say “Thank you.” It’s disappointing to see spoiled, unfriendly travelers.

I’m sorry, but “Why are you traveling again?”

After our brief conversation, the 14 year old was constantly staring at me. It was out of control staring every minute. I told her that it was not nice to stare at people.

From that point on, it was childish behavior or intentionally staring, laughing at me, standing near my seat and pointing.

Of course, my trip is never always happy go lucky perfect, blessed days. I am human and God wants me to experience these people to practice my discipline. This will then contribute to my growth and make me better at helping people. The practice of patience is truly a never ending journey and overtime I do make improvements. It’s a weakness sometimes and I work with it during these “set ups.”

She continued to laugh and then all of them would chime in. I was trying to get my bag out for customs to inspect and they are standing behind me laughing.

“What are you going to do Priscilla?” God is taunting. “What?”

It was a lot of self-control, discipline, and patience and I just kept telling myself this family is completely rude and clueless. Also, this is a 14 year old girl. I really need to calm down.  It just broke my heart to think about kids who encounter this kind of treatment everyday. How they put up with it is truly amazing. Absolutely no one deserves this kind of treatment. It’s completely unjust to any and all principles of human behavior. 

The worst part of this was that this was a 17 hour bus ride with an overnight stop in Costa Rica. I prayed that they would be staying in Costa Rica, but the next day they showed up on the bus- wearing the same clothes! The French are not big fans of the shower and perfume is a good cover up. 

When they saw me in the bus office and I saw them, it was complete shock.  Of course, they would be back on the bus to Panama, but I had hope they wouldn’t. Of course, the little one was laughing and pointing again. I am just focused on my friends on the bus (not the rude bus drivers from Costa Rica).  

Of course, I was sitting two rows in front of them on the bus(patience tested again). I had a couple nice Venezuelan guys sitting next to me and I was content tuning them out. Things are getting better making no eye contact and when she passed me with her face in my space, I turned my head around and back to her.  It really was this bad-no joke.

When we exited the bus for food and she was waiting for me to get off the bus. I just ignored her standing in the corner laughing and sat with my new friends.

Finally, it all ended when they got off the bus. I made sure they got off first and I waited until they left. And good riddens they were gone. Thankfully nothing ever lead to a talk or confrontation. It was all non-verbal childish behavior.

 

40 B4 30

I am about to hit 40 countries and I am about to hit 30. My concern about turning 30 has decreased with my traveling, which is a good thing. ..

As a human being, I have always believed I had a special potential. It's the way I have the ability to fill a room with my/his spirit. The successful therapy performed with all populations. The miraculous work with the Special needs. The ability to hear stories that are their secrets and shared just with me. This special quality is something innate that I build upon my self growth and constant learning to be the best I can be. I have grand expectations of myself, which leads my accomplishments to never be enough. I had a father who told me that I would never be good enough. This is my genetic feeling of the need for accomplishment and success. When it comes to environment, I always feel this overdose of  pressure to succeed in the US.  While this can make people competitive, productive, and motivated, it can also make one compare themselves to others success instead of focusing on their own. One can get wrapped up in never having, doing, or being enough. 

This pressure can make you fly or the pressure can make you fall. 

 Although, I have not accomplished everything I wanted by 30, I still want to fly and now I raise my expectations for success as I move into a new decade.  With the past decade of experience, education, living, writing, giving, observing, studying-it creates a perfect platform to fly high into the sky. It's such stimulation to the brain that now is the time to put it all into action.  All those ideas, theories, beliefs, experiences are going to be put into business, profit, and success.
This amazing amount of knowledge and ideas that I learn has committed to my being. Instead of being tied to one career, I am tired to a dedicated lifetime service to people through writing, education, missions, consultation, therapy, life coaching, and listening. All of these skills and experience will be combined into something great that can have a label. A label is what people need to connect success with work and experience. 


While I have not taken the marriage and children path,  there has been significant time spent learning about myself.  The self is someone that people do not spend enough time building to encourage growth and change. People jump into relationships to reach that feeling of love and commitment to a person. You can love and commit to yourself and if you want a ring to prove this- then get a ring for yourself. It doesn't make me a failure or a sad case for not settling down.  There has been opportunity to do that and I chose myself. I chose building up my career and then maybe love will come along. 

When you live a blessed life, you don't live with this fear of being alone. Someone is always keeping an eye on you and sending people to comfort, listen, assist, encourage, support, and love you.  Sometimes there are difficult days or days of uncertainty or days that you wonder what you should be by 30.

At the end of the day, I have studied my thoughts, behaviors, actions, reasoning, personality for years and years. I know myself better than anyone and  better yet I know what I am capable of and it is grand. There is such potential within my being and it took me time to grow into it, nourish it, and realize it.  This will never get old with age yet the growth of self coming from experience will continue for a lifetime.
 

God bless all the wonderful things I have done for people all around the world

God bless my true supporters who believe in me no matter what the age

God bless my writing towards books

God bless living to serve others

God bless my travels

God bless turning 30

The God Given Purpose

When I was a child, there was always this deep curiosity inside of me. I knew that there was more than the suburban life I was given.  There were people in my neighborhood with problems who I gave my time, my listening, and support. Truly, I was a born therapist with a heart for others. It was in my genes from a father and grandfather who dedicated their life to others.  I believe it was also in God's plan to be his assistant in helping humans feel better and become better individuals.

With this growing mind, I knew there was something much bigger out there.  My curiosity grew for people. Why people were ill and why they suffered.  When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up I said "A Clinical psychologist." That's what I thought would cure human suffering- a doctor.  As many others believe, I thought that a psychologist could help a person and cure them of this pain. 

Now I realize there are two different healing processes: one involves medicine and the other involves God. It's possible for someone to combine both of these healing processes into one and this is what is most powerful.  

With the young Priscilla being passionate for psychology, she studied some theology, but endlessly studied psychology. The human behavior of people

 fascinated me like no other and everyone was aware of how passionate I was about this subject. From the age of 12, I was sure that I wanted to study human beings for life.  Instead of taking a couple courses, I took all psychology electives. Any opportunity at a job to take a new training on depression, abuse, mental illness-I took it. I needed to fill myself up with all this knowledge to do something with it.  To cure the human suffering with my knowledge and with the one spirit that changes lives. 

With this spirit and with my knowledge, it all came packaged together into something priceless.  This girl who wondered about suffering and the world did not sit back and sit on her curiosity.  She went out and explored different communities, different population from Los Angeles East LA, South side Chicago, Bronx New York, India, parts of Asia, Africa, and Middle East.  She bravely lead herself out into the world as one woman alone who had intentions to help, heal, spread love and spirit, and acknowledge others. When it's a purpose, it's not a job.  It's something that many don´t understand because they have not felt it- I apologize to those people and I hope they can feel it before our time has run out. 

The combination of knowledge, experience, and purpose is pure power.  When you have explored and connected with so many cultures and you can see, feel, and hear the impact-it's a pure blessing.

As a woman, I'm still curious about people, communities, history, politics, religion, art/history, violence, and human choice/behavior. My curiosity will never end because curiosity will always be present in a world so diverse and ever changing. The difference between then and now is that I'm not a little girl anymore. 

I can ACT on my curiosity and I feel empowered to create CHANGE with my higher power on my side and the world in need of my being and services.  The human suffering can be cured with medicine, but I plan to cure it with human interaction.   PRIS

Thanks for Sharing Morocco

While there was a lot of negativity produced from Morocco, there was a whole lot of 

positivity and whole lot of GROWTH.  Tremendous growth through experiences and people. 

With this said, I would like to credit Morocco for their beauty in the sharing of food. It is Morocco who will sit and wait a couple hours for someone before they eat their food, it is Morocco who will share their food with you hand in hand, it is Morocco who will give to you food made with love and caring.   It is amazing the patience they hold when it comes to cooking and waiting for others to eat their food together.

People always shared kindly and warmly cooked and shared their food with me whether in a restaurant on the street or in the home.  It was wonderful to be in a Moroccan home eating course by course and enjoying each meal slowly. I remember one time we waited an hour for a friend to get home from work.  

While I thought I was so hungry, the waiting actually decreased my hunger. It's funny because Americans are so interested in satisfying the hunger immediately while Moroccans like to wait it out and focus on the quality-it's quite interesting.  

With this new found perspective on food, I developed new habits with my eating.  Instead of eating in convenience, I would wait until I came home to cook something and cook it.  When you cook from scratch, it takes time and I started to love that cooking time.  While I started my cooking in New York, Morocco just confirmed my enjoyment in cooking and it's therapeutic qualities. Morocco was getting me hooked on this idea of sharing the food with others.  When you cook something and share it with other people, you feel content and satisfied with the serving, the sharing, and the giving.

 It makes one understand why chefs love cooking for others and do not enjoy their own consumption as much. It's beautiful being able to share what you spent your time and efforts on with someone who appreciates and enjoys it.  This addictive process is what is happening in Morocco over and over again leaving Moroccans in the "sharing food and loving it" culture.  They just keep the sharing up during big festivals like Ramadan, Eid, and just on an average dinner.  During Eid, those who are wealthy are suppose to actually buy a sheep for someone who doesn't have one. While the rich have their own "unique" way of sharing, most people still do a pretty good job of sharing what they have whether on a holiday or not. 

With all the sharing in Morocco, it became contagious for me to share.  What is interesting is that I love to help people for what feels like a lifetime, but when it comes to food I do not enjoy sharing, especially my own food.  My experience in Morocco seems to have triggered a sharing feast. It seems like I just can't stop sharing whether it's buying a homeless man food, sharing with those on buses, in the streets, giving away my own food, giving away my favorite fruit and cupcakes?! This is just not me as I love my food and I don't want it to be touched by others or shared.  While I still hold those strong ties to food and I still allow myself flexibility to obtain what I desire- I just share a whole lot more and it's beautiful. My concern for what people are eating and putting in their stomachs is at a much higher importance.   

In Antigua, at the Atitlan tours agency I had made a whole new groups of friends-go figure. I love talking with the transportation guys, especially bus drivers and conductors.  My one friend from the other day was having his lunch-a tostada with some beans on it.  He was a big guy-a gordo hombre with a short t-shirt and his belly hanging out.  I asked if that was all he was going to eat and he shrugged his shoulders. I went out the street and got him a couple tamales and a couple nice, corn drinks(made of corn, sugar, milk, and rice).  I just bought for him and my other lovely friend who worked in the office. They were surprised with my kindness and so was I. It was like I just left the office with a mission to get them their lunch. It only cost me a couple dollars and their stomachs were happier and more content. 

This gave me pleasure instead of just filling myself with whatever I like to eat.  This act of kindness continued to occur giving my crackers away on the bus to mothers with children, buying food for the homeless(in a recent case feeding someone who was blind)-it's really amazing how much I grow and learn every day and in each experience.  I never thought I could be so generous with food, but it turns out I do have it in me. 

Thanks for sharing Morocco.....

Admit You're Human

Over the years, I have seen the growth of this expression, “Being Human.” When I see the shirts with the expression, I often think to myself “That’s great.” Although, sometimes I just shake my head because I have believed in this expression for years and years.  

As a living, breathing, human being created by my higher power, I believe in the beauty of flaw.  I believe that we are not created to be perfect.  We are all just imperfect human beings.  Sometimes we look at others and think, “Wow, they’re perfect.” This is a false sense of reality created within our own conscious minds. Yes, our conscious minds. We are conscious of the truth, but we choose to disregard the facts presented in front of us.  When we have a flaw it’s a flaw that we are given for a reason.  We are given that flaw to challenge us to rise.  To rise to become a better person by learning about our flaw and how to improve our being.  Some people go their whole lives observing their flaws, but never making one attempt to change it.  When it comes to my own behavior, I know God made me imperfectly.  These imperfections can be seen as a weakness or I can work on them everyday to make them a potential strength. 

Sometimes we receive weaknesses that we don’t want, we really don’t want.  You question God or your question yourself with one word. “Why?”

Why was I chosen to have these flaws? Why couldn’t you just make me perfect?

The best example of this is one of my favorite people in the world Mahatma Ghandi.  Mahatma Ghandi is not one of my idols because of his commercial typical likings.  He is my favorite person because he was flawed.  He engaged in adultery, he lied, he stole, and he rebelled against his religion on many occasions before became wise and knowledgeable. He engaged in a lot of self-reflection and time for real experience when away from his parents. With his flaws, he learned and he grew and he turned into one of the most amazing human beings in history.  If he did not engage in his imperfections, he would never be who he was today. This is my own theory in regards to the importance of embracing our flaws and shining after reflection, work, and understanding.
   

It proves the expression that has crossed so many countries and continents, it’s called.... 
“Being Human….”

Why 40 Before 30?

On August 17, I will celebrate my 30^th birthday.  


Always wanting to challenge myself, I thought about how I could end my 20s with meaning.  I planned on possibly running the marathon.  In the states, I had been running each day and taking part in smaller races for the past few months.  When I turned 27, I ran a half marathon and spent my birthday in Portland, Maine-quite nice.  While it is possible to do a marathon, it would possibly come in October-not August.  



With this said, I then thought about traveling and I made goal to reach 40 countries by 30.  There are some other travelers who actually have the same notion of hitting 40 before they turn 30 or 50 before 40.  For me, it was not about the pure number of 40 rather it was about the journey I have taken with my 20s, my career as a Therapist, Volunteer, Teacher, Social Worker, and cultural explorer.



Traveling has taken me to unforgettable experiences, new friends, life lessons, meaningful cultural exchanges, the best volunteer experiences or jobs, incredible nature, and connections with up above.  It is a total life changing experience.  So why not include by traveling in my journey, document it, learn and grow from it, and most important connect to people and help them grow!