Fighting Violence in Faith

This church I helped out at for a few days truly had a wonderful ministry going.  The after school program was successful with good attendance. Not just with my eyes, but inquiring about the regular attendance. These kids were different than my other projects because they had a hard exterior. You could tell in their presentation, behavior, comments, and reaction. 
 
Of course, we were discussing the topics of violence in their neighborhood. These kids have seen so much just within their own neighborhood and community. It’s one big four by four square of gangs and violence-they just sit right in the middle of it.  It feels like there is no way out.  When you make one good decision to quit a gang that can lead to a lot of hurt or potential danger. It’s a violent cycle for someone who is 14 to 17 who just wants to experience the normal teenage years.


There was a 14 year old who watched his 20 year old brother be shot by a gang member. He told me about some positive memories, but he said his neighborhood reminds him of negative. He has to protect his Mom, but he just wants to escape, but he can’t.  This is a common story for the gang violence. It’s completely heart breaking because solutions are slim when these people can’t afford to leave, they are threatened, they have a large family, and in bad scenarios-it’s just too late. 

While I’m usually curious to explore the neighborhood (East LA, Bronx, South side Chicago), this was not a place I wanted to explore. I actually felt scared with the razor sharp tension in the air. These environments can be dangerous to the soul. They can make someone who is a believer an evil being. The stories that sound hopeless are the ones that need a reminder on what faith and prayer can do. They need realistic steps, but they also need God. It was amazing to see how many were involved with the church and they were active members serving. With the sadness came the silver lining.

It was just a short time with these kids, but it only takes a few days to inspire, encourage, give praise verbally and through high fives, bringing some snacks, and be a listener through his spirit.  His spirit can bring such laughter and joy. His spirit can create hope in total sadness.
 

When things appear hopeless, you are not alone. Look above you and smile-keep your faith no matter what happens to you…..no matter what happens.... PRIS

Chillaxing

Monday was a wonderful day. The breakfast buffet was excellent-especially the Stuffed French toast, smoked salmon with Brie and Figs, excellent Café leche, 

I had the hotel all to myself except for a few people. It was time to take advantage of the pool, hot tub, and sauna. 

Touch down! Best ceviche of the trip!

Swimming with my new ten year old Colombian friend. His brother and him are both from Medellin (where I am going). They are staying with their nun who is the babysitter. Another nun on an Iphone playing scrabble.  It’s funny seeing a nun in the Hard Rock pool, but again they are just people too.

The Colombian girls and I were dancing near the pool and being silly.  They had no one there so it was okay to let loose and have some fun.  They all invited me to Cartagena(where they are from) and I said, “Okay after Medellin I will stop there.” Oh boy, if I could I would-trust me!

After my swimming, I spent sometime exploring different areas of the hotel. They have some fantastic lounges where you can just get lost reading and relaxing. So that is what I did. I also went up to the Bling bar area to sit on the balcony.  

Finally, dinner at the steakhouse with impeccable décor and a Halibut to die for and a chocolate soufflé to write home about. It was my birthday time on overdrive.   

The best part about Monday and Tuesday was that everyone cleared out of the hotel. It was truly a time to relax and take advantage of the hotels nice spaces: juice café, Rock n Roll lounge, sushi restaurant, and great coffee café.  Bling Nightclub looked nice, but I did not attend because I can proudly say....It just doesn't hold the importance it used to, but relaxing and enjoying life always will.   

Jesus Driven Day

The Don Bosco church had such a full service and a glorious one. There I stood in this beautiful church for the first time. It was Our birthday and I was so proud of all we accomplished. Having such powerful spiritual moments I weeped tears of joy and thankfulness. No one had been there for me more and loved me more-how could I not give my life and serve him?

The pastor spoke in a clear Spanish I could understand as if he was speaking that way just for me. The church was overcrowded with people standing in the back near the door and on the sides. It was clear that other people were touched by this church and it's meaning. People were friendly with "La paz contigo" and sincere looks(Believers more friendly and kind in Panama).


At the end of service, I like to be around and meet people of the church. I enjoy talking and learning about their community and the problems they face and the strengths they hold.

There was a man who worked for the church standing in front handing out flyer's. We got to talking and it turns out he had been helping out with the church. He informed me that the neighborhood behind the church was one of the worst in Panama City. This refers to that previous post where I discussed how those who are suffering, lost, poor, angry, confused-they are place nearby the church. God keeps them safe. This is how he wants it. 

He wanted to introduce me to the pastor who was in the back and he showed me around a bit. The church held an after school program three days per week and I met a few of the kids (age 12-17).

This was not just distribution of food rather I felt the community that was present. They had a futbol field, basketball court, different rooms for activities including an art room with bean bags.  

I was impressed with this and I wanted to participate with the short time I had, which was only a few days with this tight schedule. I was suppose to have more time here, but each country was an extra couple days and that created less time in Panama.   

It turns out the Pastor had to leave-it was pouring I should mention and he had to go across town. It would have been nice to meet him, but I was speaking with someone who had the most hands on work.


Sharing our ideas and sadness among those who die so you, it was refreshing to hear a common voice. The gangs were some of the worst and trying to address this problem is always challenging. In Belize, in East LA, in Chicago-this problem exists larger than ever. For me, the solution is group therapy, building community supports, afterschool activities, increased amounts of community programs, and serious education on gang violence. It’s not a simple problem to fix, but education and community action can save lives. 

The pouring rain was coming down hard and people were starting to leave. I looked at the time and it was almost 3pm. I said my goodbyes and ran out the door. My South American friends were leaving at 3pm and I would feel incomplete without a proper hug and final goodbye.

When I ran back out of breath and soaked, I was asking Popola, “Where is Carlito and Mary?”

“Girl, you went through some serious rain. They are still here.”

Phewww, we said our sad goodbyes and then it was time for me to leave.

I am putting my things together and Popoyla says, “Join me for lunch.”

I look at my watch and he tells me that we can take the bus together. He makes an awesome vegetarian lunch (he’s vegetarian) and very picky with his food- like me. He made a Carrot, tofu, and curry dish with rice. He kept apologizing and I was eating every bite up.  We were discussing the whole hostel situation and how it’s not really for us, but sometimes it just makes sense. If I didn’t go there, I wouldn’t have met him and then what? There is reason not just coincidence.

Off I went and I decided to just take a taxi and he took the bus. It was my arrival at one of my favorite hotels The Hard Rock Hotel. 

La Esperanza Granada

Before traveling to Central America, I was researching organizations for each country. When it came to my Nicaragua search, it was difficult to find an organization that didn't require a volunteer fee or a 1 year commitment.

I found this organization and spoke with the Director after giving my background and experience. We emailed back and forth a bit and it was a sad moment when I realized I could not come assist her. She said she needed 3 months minimum and that was my whole trip. We both had such a respect and interest in learning from one another and it was difficult to realize it wouldn't work at all. She did ask me to stop by for coffee and see her, but my Granada time was only one day.


Here is their website description below 

It's truly a fantastic organization and a great place to donate.   


About Us

Located in Granada, Nicaragua, La Esperanza Granada is a volunteer group focusing on children’s education. ‘Born’ in 2002, we started in one small village on the outskirts of Granada, and now help more than 2,000 children in poverty-stricken areas. Our volunteers go out into the schools and assist the teachers, tutor young children, run sports programs, introduce children to computers, teach English and help stimulate an interest in learning. Volunteers come from around the world, for varying lengths of time. There are no program fees. Fund raising is independent and voluntary. We try to help in a noninvasive way, working directly with the children and with the local schools, teachers, and parents to meet educational needs.

We are a non-profit, non-political, non-denominational organization, funded by donations of individuals, groups, service groups, schools, etc. Donations are used for building new classrooms and schools, contributing to teachers salaries, and many other things to help improve education and health for the children, such as making copies of exams and worksheets, buying textbooks, dental visits, sports supplies, school repairs, and a never ending list of needs in this impoverished country.

 Our mission: By providing opportunities and resources for the long term educational advancement and community development of Nicaraguan barrios we hope to brighten the future of the children by empowering the people of the villages to improve their current living conditions and break the cycle of poverty. Our focus is on children’s education.

Our motto: We believe in giving a hand up, not a handout.

Whether your interest is volunteering, contributing goods, donating money, or simply curiosity, we appreciate you taking the time to look through this website, and hope it will satisfy your interest.

Donations, Donations, Donations, Donations, Donations

 

http://www.la-esperanza-granada.org/payment-options/

Worldwide – PayPal

You can donate any amount directly using our Paypal Link.
Anyone with a credit card can donate via PayPal and it is not necessary to create a PayPal account to donate.

U.S.A. Donors

For a 501(c)3 Tax Deductability:

 Write a check to:
“Institute for Central American Studies” and write La Esperanza Granada in the memo line. Please note: La Esperanza Granada is a project of the Institute for Central American Studies (ICAS), a tax-exempt 501(c)(3) public charity in the United States. For more information about ICAS, please visit: the ICAS Homepage. ICAS will mail a tax receipt to the address that appears on your check.

Please mail all checks to:

 ICAS/La Esperanza Granada
2719 Barlow Dr.,   Castro Valley,    CA. 94546

Painting Session

When it comes to my interests, I would not say they have significantly changed overtime, but I would say that some interests are becoming true passions.  For example: writing, art/ painting, poetry, hiking, cooking, and traveling. 
One that has truly come to life is painting.  I have always had a passion for art exhibits, museums, and cultural art.  This time I am interested in making the painting myself.  It's such a therapeutic relaxing passion with some classical music and a peaceful space. 

              

My little friend, Elizabeth, shared this same passion and we decided to do some painting together. She didn't understand my classical music, but she didn't mind it either. After work, her dad walked in and had a huge smile on his face. It was clear he had a tiny crush on me and I adored his daughter. 
After our painting, Elizabeth, even made me a quesadilla with my favorite white cheese. I asked what this would do her thighs and she said, "Who cares."  I said, "Good girl." 

          

               My Knock off Salvador Dali

         

Beach Volley Ball

Everyday when we finished our responsibilities with the kids, it wasn't over because they wanted to play.  One of great activities and my favorite was beach volleyball(with the Sand Flies included in the game).  They were not as bad in Sandy Bay in comparison to some other beaches. 

In volleyball, the kids were pretty good and they had their own ways of playing. Not everyone plays volleyball the American way and that is okay.  It is a little frustrating for competitive people like me, but we were just having fun.

                        

     

    

                        

Playing with lines in the sand instead of net

                         

No place I Would Rather Be

                                    

                                   

                       

                         

                           

                              

                            

                              

                         

                              

The Little Boy Who Could

Not the little train that could, but the little boy who could. This boy started to smile overtime, but at first he presented as shy and scared.  When it came to learning English, he would hide in the corner.  He did not want anything to do with English because his father was pressuring to him to learn it. His father sent him to four different schools because he felt their English focus was not good enough. Unfortunate for his son, he also felt his learning was just not good enough.  His little 6 year old son felt this pressure and he was scared, confused, and disinterested in English. 

**Parents who pressure their kids to succeed-don't be surprised when you see the opposite outcome.**
His father loved him very much and he only wanted the best for him, but we discussed the psychological impact this has on a child and clarity surfaced for him. 

With the little one, he was shy and scared for the first few sessions. Mrs. Teri was always putting in wonderful efforts, but I presented her with another idea.  We backed off and did not try to work with him on English.  Instead, we focused on the six other kids and lead by example. I told her we were going to make things as fun as possible and with kids speaking and engaging-the little one will come around and want to join. She looked confused and reminded me that he is very shy and does not usually engage with children. She is a very sweet young girl and this was something for her to try in the future if it does succeed. 

We started our lesson with everyone raising their hand with such eager.  We decided to take that energy outside as other children were in the library.  Miss. Teri stayed inside with the little one observing his actions. He got up and moved closer to the door and peaked his head around the side.  The next day he sat outside and was silent. The next day one or two words and received huge praise from everyone.  This positive praise lead to another great day. 

 The following day he was engaging in full repetition-great pronunciation surprising for all of us.  The next day he was rushing up to the front door with a big smile on his face and went outside being the first one to sit on the bench.  This child became a star participant and with teamwork Miss. Teri and all the kids encouraged him to speak English and be happier rather than be in fear. 
His father witnessed this happiness and his father also watched his learning and the teaching happening.
Hopefully this was an "Ah ha" moment where his father realized, he needed to stop pushing and encourage his child to learn in a happier, interactive way. 

While this sounds like an ideal situation in such a short time, it's again the power of teamwork, the power of spirit/belief in someone, persistence, and lots of experience from the soul:)

                         

Family in Trouble

Another case was presented to me with a troubled family living near the center. There were three boys who attended the library each day.  The older one, 17, and he was the caretaker of the family.  The middle aged one, 12, was a pretty good student and stayed out of trouble. The youngest one, 11, had been severely suffering from his family life. The father was an alcoholic and the mother was a question mark as the truth about her was not disclosed.

The younger boy was the one that Mrs. Kat wanted me to work with each day. It was clear that he needed some extensive therapy. He had severe ADHD, poor social skills, attachment issues, and difficulty addressing adults properly and making requests. Of course he was a smart boy, but he spent more time goofing off  inside and outside of school. He had ran away from home on a few occasions and teachers report says that he is always trouble in class. He is labeled as "the problem child," which leads people to avoid working with him and trying to help him. Instead they just focus on his label.  It's a sad, unfortunate reality with many kids.

Working together with him was difficult, but not impossible. He presented a bit shy and closed off, but warmed up to me in short time. He rarely attended the library and did not keep our appointments, but with some motivation he surprised me with his eagerness to learn.  He would come with a pencil and a notebook. Everyone was shocked, but not me. I just did my job and believed.  He had to request to take breaks and he was given allotted times to stay seated.  He did not always follow along, but he had someone who believed. He gave me hugs and asked about how long I would be staying. It was never a surprise rather I was always honest and upfront from the beginning about how long I would stay. He made some progress right in front of my eyes and he was passed down to the staff.  I told them to not give up on him and to spend time working with him with a list of therapeutic activities including: anger management, social skills, and listening.
   
**Nothing is impossible when it comes to people.** 

While the middle brother was performing well, the older brother made some changes right in front of my eyes.  His attendance decreased, he missed a couple days of school, and he was not showering. There was clear pain sitting in his eyes. Every teacher commented on it and I saw what was happening. While the younger one was the focus, the older one was crying out for help. 

 After my work, we took walks on the beach and talked about his life problems.  He did not want to share the details of what was happening, but I already had an idea from the behavior of the younger one.  Together we wrote down and built a support network for him, a journal, ways to stay active, and people he can turn to for help.  He reported feeling worried confiding in a staff in fear they may tell his family secret. It's just a matter of time before it comes out.    

In the family dynamic, the responsibility is generally assigned to an older child. He becomes the responsible one when his parents are not properly caring for their children. He can follow through on his tasks, but sooner or later the pressure settles in and he begins to break.  He can't be the one who watches over Javier and makes sure he completes his homework.  He can't be the one who does the dishes everyday. He just wants to be a kid and not have to bear such responsibility at such a young age.  He wants a father who cares for him and a mother who does her part.

May the Lord watch over this family on their darkest days.

 May the Lord be with these children at times of need.

May the Lord remind them of their place in the world

May the Lord lift them up in his arms on days of sadness

May the Lord give his spirit for support and love within them

                                      

 PRIS

Hopeless to Hopeful

At Brain Space, specific and difficult assignments were assigned to me and as always Priscilla was up for the challenge. What is interesting is when someone is described solely by their weakness instead of their strengths. Their identification is just recognized by weakness and they are just described by weakness. 

This happened with a young 14 year old named Ainsley.  Mrs. Cat informed me that this student was extremely slow with a possible learning disability.  She can not recollect anything she learns and she is constantly having trouble with Math. 

Of course, I listened and highly considered her opinion and she knew each and every student in that center.  Unfortunately, I was guilty of believing her level of learning and intelligence was so low.  The thought was in my mind while waiting for her ready to diagnose a learning disability.
She walked in dressed in clean clothes with a tall stature appearing to be a 17 year old not 12.  The way she carried herself for 12 was impeccable.  She had a beautiful smile and a kind manner with others. I observed her behavior with other children and she was helpful and caring-reading to kids and playing games outside on breaks. 

When it came to her work, it was clear that she had difficulty with Math-division, subtraction, and multiplication.  When it comes to learning, all you need is drive and a will to learn.  She showed up each and every time dedicated to learning and working hard to achieve stickers and verbal praise.  She never walked away, complained of being tired, or became upset.  She just happily worked and did her math problems while asking questions and being patient.  She did not have such difficulty remembering as reported by John and others. And she definitely did not have a learning disability.  She's a girl with 7 brothers and sisters and a mother who is never home.  She's in a class of 45 and her math teacher happens to be John and she reports being confused by his teaching.  This is also common because the locals have a different way of teaching everything.  When I told Mrs. Kat of her success she said, "That's because she has you as a tutor."

**It's amazing how people can know you for such a short time and have such positive feedback.  You can work your butt off for a year in a company and you can barely get a one page review from them that is solid and highlights your accomplishments with clients-crap.***

Each day sharing my progress with Ainsley verbally and written, she was so happy and her face was glowing.  Ainsley needed a mentor and someone consistent.  That is what I was and that is what she needed whether short term or long term-I was there and she was there and we connected.  She was not a hopeless case rather she was a hopeful one.  She was just a girl who needed a chance, who needs a mentor, and who needs someone to believe in her rather than underestimate who she is and how she learns.  She is brave, determined, kind, caring, resourceful, and resilient.  She is some kind of wonderful and that is how she stands in my memory...

      Never, Never underestimate a human potential- PRIS

And They Got Cake

The last days are always hectic, but they usually turn out to be amazing with God's blessing. I awoke early to ensure I had all my materials together in my backpack.  I stopped by the office to meet with Mrs. Francis to print a few things.  She asked me what I had planned for the day and stood so proud in front of me.





If I ever doubt people's belief in me, I can always think back to certain people. Mrs. Francis being one of many people.
From our conversations to watching my conversations with others or witnessing my time with the kids-her whole face radiated in appreciation and respect towards me.. She believed in me. The smile that a proud parent would have, the smile of confirmation, the smile I was doing something right, the smile of satisfaction in my efforts and performance. But most importantly, the smile saying, "Thanks for being you." 
 

Overtime, I had saved my sympathy cries up until this exact moment. It was the last day, which meant more food than just a snack.  As I told her about my plans, I made it clear that I wanted the day to be special and I had to reward the good behavior that was present.  I was using my cuteness and charm to drive home the importance of "special." Of course her response involved not having time or enough notice, which was an understandable fact. Unfortunately, I did not ask her earlier because I just decided to not ask anymore after previous attempts. 


I don't believe in begging for something, but I do believe in using my personality and character to get what I want. Just demonstrating such a care for these kids and showing heart helped me get it.


"It would be so nice if we could just have one of those amazing cakes that the kitchen makes cut up into small pieces." Pris


"Or whatever fruit you have left in the kitchen, we could make a fruit salad." Pris


"Okay, okay Priscilla. How about I see what I can get and I stop by when you finish up?" Mrs. Francis


"Okay, sounds great." Priscilla





I hopped on the bike and went on my way.  I couldn't wait to see all the kids from the week as I had told them their behavior is based off rewards and they receive big rewards on Friday, which was TRUE. We had balloons, goodie bags, gift certificates, and games they requested. It was our day to review what we learned, have fun, and celebrate. 

Unfortunately, when I arrived that morning there was a clear shortage of children present. One by one kids started coming in and their faces looked more and more unfamiliar. This is always my saddest moment when I do not get to have closure with my kids, youth, adults- so sad for me and for them. The girls told me that the kids all went to Belize city for the weekend and they stay until Monday. 
 

Okay so that accounts for a lot of people, but where are my older boys? There is no way they would miss the last day of camp. 
 

"We'll there was kind of a fight last night." Darrah
 

"What kind of fight?" Pris 
 

"Well there was a gang bang." Darrah
 

"So they are not coming."Pris
 

"Some will come and some are grounded."

Only a couple of my older boys came and many of the younger ones were present, but   

Parents just say, "Hey drop your kids off at the camp for the day when they have not been there all week." 

Super annoying and rewards were going to kids who do not even deserve them, but that's just the nature of this work. 



The kids were loving the activities especially the scavenger hunt. The best part was them finding the last item at the same time. One younger boy was riding fast on his bike and the older girl was running towards me with her braids swinging in the air.  They were both coming from opposite sides of the neighborhood and here I stood at a bridge in the middle.  The bridge joined them together despite their differences.  The girl ended up winning and she said she never won anything. They were thrilled and I was thrilled for them-lots of high fives and encouraging each other to congratulate their team member on a positive contribution. 



It was great that even the new kids were participating. It just goes to show how positive energy, teamwork, support, and caring can encourage participation. Well, it's so much more, but that's experience that you build overtime. 



Another Arts and Crafts activities involved Arts and Crafts making cross necklaces.  The boys finished their map of Mahogany Heights and they were so proud.  They had so many disagreements, but they were encouraged to stick together and they did....they did. 

Throughout our activities kids were giving me big hugs, smiles, and thanking me for coming to work with them.  It was so interesting how respectful these kids were to me as it was a part of their community to respect adults.  They were always helpers and not always following the rules, not always listening perfectly, but they never will. They are kids and they make mistakes-it is up to us to respect them, give them space, and count their steps of positive change whether almost invisible or wonderful. PRIS

It was time for our snacks. It turns out we had chips and one of our volunteers bought cookies. 


This volunteer came in Day 1 with no smile on her face and looked like she was just trying to do a good deed.  As camp went by, she warmed up to me, she opened up, she danced, she laughed, and then she made cookies.  She spent over 2 hours using a unconventional stove and she made them.  That's what happens when you become a part of a "good feeling." It spreads like wildfire and you want to help, participate, contribute, and be present. 



Since I had made purchases for the program. I was specifically told to not purchase anything and I followed the request. I was clearly doing enough as I was crazy busy the whole time.  Sometimes I wonder if I took a test and I would account for 2 people productivity.  The "new" kids on the last day(ironic statement) were running around outside so I had to reign them inside. It was such a zoo as it usually is the last day. 


While serving the cookies, I looked up to see Mrs. Francis looking classy and beautiful.  She asked for some assistance to the car and I sent out our older helpers. A few moments later in they came with two trays.  I ran over to open one up and I opened it to see two big, chocolate cakes with vanilla icing....cut up into small pieces.
Oh the detail and how the how happy the kids were-I did not cry rather my heart was just filled with appreciation. 


On the last minute, she did this for me and for the kids-it was so special.  The kids all had a piece and a second piece. They stood around the cake staring at it and pushing to get another piece.


I told her, "Thank you." and "Thank you" and "Thank you." She knew how much it meant to me and for someone to care about that-that's beautiful. 



It was time for ending and we sang a song and handed out certificates. I had individuals motivational talks with the older kids and we had hugs galore. The volunteers were so kind in their words and their hard work in the camp. One is a teacher and the other has a daughter in the camp. It couldn't of happened without them.



The hardest part was the last walk through the neighborhood. It was a walk I took with Mrs. R as I was taking her to dinner. It almost didn't happen as we sat in her house I helped her start an email. We were waiting for her husband to come back so he could watch the kids. It was getting late, but he came in the nick of time.



We walked along the dirt road and our crazy taxi driver friend pulls up beside us.

"You girls aren't going to walk all the way over there, hop in."



And off we went to "Cheers" where everybody knows your name and their always glad you came

 

People can do so much when you just believe in them. I will continue to believe in people until my last day comes. PRIS