And They Got Cake

The last days are always hectic, but they usually turn out to be amazing with God's blessing. I awoke early to ensure I had all my materials together in my backpack.  I stopped by the office to meet with Mrs. Francis to print a few things.  She asked me what I had planned for the day and stood so proud in front of me.





If I ever doubt people's belief in me, I can always think back to certain people. Mrs. Francis being one of many people.
From our conversations to watching my conversations with others or witnessing my time with the kids-her whole face radiated in appreciation and respect towards me.. She believed in me. The smile that a proud parent would have, the smile of confirmation, the smile I was doing something right, the smile of satisfaction in my efforts and performance. But most importantly, the smile saying, "Thanks for being you." 
 

Overtime, I had saved my sympathy cries up until this exact moment. It was the last day, which meant more food than just a snack.  As I told her about my plans, I made it clear that I wanted the day to be special and I had to reward the good behavior that was present.  I was using my cuteness and charm to drive home the importance of "special." Of course her response involved not having time or enough notice, which was an understandable fact. Unfortunately, I did not ask her earlier because I just decided to not ask anymore after previous attempts. 


I don't believe in begging for something, but I do believe in using my personality and character to get what I want. Just demonstrating such a care for these kids and showing heart helped me get it.


"It would be so nice if we could just have one of those amazing cakes that the kitchen makes cut up into small pieces." Pris


"Or whatever fruit you have left in the kitchen, we could make a fruit salad." Pris


"Okay, okay Priscilla. How about I see what I can get and I stop by when you finish up?" Mrs. Francis


"Okay, sounds great." Priscilla





I hopped on the bike and went on my way.  I couldn't wait to see all the kids from the week as I had told them their behavior is based off rewards and they receive big rewards on Friday, which was TRUE. We had balloons, goodie bags, gift certificates, and games they requested. It was our day to review what we learned, have fun, and celebrate. 

Unfortunately, when I arrived that morning there was a clear shortage of children present. One by one kids started coming in and their faces looked more and more unfamiliar. This is always my saddest moment when I do not get to have closure with my kids, youth, adults- so sad for me and for them. The girls told me that the kids all went to Belize city for the weekend and they stay until Monday. 
 

Okay so that accounts for a lot of people, but where are my older boys? There is no way they would miss the last day of camp. 
 

"We'll there was kind of a fight last night." Darrah
 

"What kind of fight?" Pris 
 

"Well there was a gang bang." Darrah
 

"So they are not coming."Pris
 

"Some will come and some are grounded."

Only a couple of my older boys came and many of the younger ones were present, but   

Parents just say, "Hey drop your kids off at the camp for the day when they have not been there all week." 

Super annoying and rewards were going to kids who do not even deserve them, but that's just the nature of this work. 



The kids were loving the activities especially the scavenger hunt. The best part was them finding the last item at the same time. One younger boy was riding fast on his bike and the older girl was running towards me with her braids swinging in the air.  They were both coming from opposite sides of the neighborhood and here I stood at a bridge in the middle.  The bridge joined them together despite their differences.  The girl ended up winning and she said she never won anything. They were thrilled and I was thrilled for them-lots of high fives and encouraging each other to congratulate their team member on a positive contribution. 



It was great that even the new kids were participating. It just goes to show how positive energy, teamwork, support, and caring can encourage participation. Well, it's so much more, but that's experience that you build overtime. 



Another Arts and Crafts activities involved Arts and Crafts making cross necklaces.  The boys finished their map of Mahogany Heights and they were so proud.  They had so many disagreements, but they were encouraged to stick together and they did....they did. 

Throughout our activities kids were giving me big hugs, smiles, and thanking me for coming to work with them.  It was so interesting how respectful these kids were to me as it was a part of their community to respect adults.  They were always helpers and not always following the rules, not always listening perfectly, but they never will. They are kids and they make mistakes-it is up to us to respect them, give them space, and count their steps of positive change whether almost invisible or wonderful. PRIS

It was time for our snacks. It turns out we had chips and one of our volunteers bought cookies. 


This volunteer came in Day 1 with no smile on her face and looked like she was just trying to do a good deed.  As camp went by, she warmed up to me, she opened up, she danced, she laughed, and then she made cookies.  She spent over 2 hours using a unconventional stove and she made them.  That's what happens when you become a part of a "good feeling." It spreads like wildfire and you want to help, participate, contribute, and be present. 



Since I had made purchases for the program. I was specifically told to not purchase anything and I followed the request. I was clearly doing enough as I was crazy busy the whole time.  Sometimes I wonder if I took a test and I would account for 2 people productivity.  The "new" kids on the last day(ironic statement) were running around outside so I had to reign them inside. It was such a zoo as it usually is the last day. 


While serving the cookies, I looked up to see Mrs. Francis looking classy and beautiful.  She asked for some assistance to the car and I sent out our older helpers. A few moments later in they came with two trays.  I ran over to open one up and I opened it to see two big, chocolate cakes with vanilla icing....cut up into small pieces.
Oh the detail and how the how happy the kids were-I did not cry rather my heart was just filled with appreciation. 


On the last minute, she did this for me and for the kids-it was so special.  The kids all had a piece and a second piece. They stood around the cake staring at it and pushing to get another piece.


I told her, "Thank you." and "Thank you" and "Thank you." She knew how much it meant to me and for someone to care about that-that's beautiful. 



It was time for ending and we sang a song and handed out certificates. I had individuals motivational talks with the older kids and we had hugs galore. The volunteers were so kind in their words and their hard work in the camp. One is a teacher and the other has a daughter in the camp. It couldn't of happened without them.



The hardest part was the last walk through the neighborhood. It was a walk I took with Mrs. R as I was taking her to dinner. It almost didn't happen as we sat in her house I helped her start an email. We were waiting for her husband to come back so he could watch the kids. It was getting late, but he came in the nick of time.



We walked along the dirt road and our crazy taxi driver friend pulls up beside us.

"You girls aren't going to walk all the way over there, hop in."



And off we went to "Cheers" where everybody knows your name and their always glad you came

 

People can do so much when you just believe in them. I will continue to believe in people until my last day comes. PRIS

Don´t Stop Believin

When you are a psychoanalyst, you are constantly observing and analyzing people, places, things, and one more thing-you. You analyze yourself in your daily interactions and how you work as a professional. You have to analyze and reflect on your work for it to get better. That goes with any profession as one should always be learning more about themselves and their work. 

With my current project, I was doing a self assessment on how things were going and I was not quite satisfied. The youth were not showing up because the timing was too early. I was spending time with the parents and I was not sure if our session was just talk or they would actually try out what we discussed. 

While children are often playing outside, their kids are always on the street-always. They are often beating each other with sticks or crawling in the mud. They had 1.5 months of summer vacation left  so I challenged them to think of activities they can do together i.e. pull weeds, sell lemonade, do household tasks together, and help out their Mom as much as they can

When I came home I went for a run, came back for dinner, and just felt disenchanted. While I am suppose to be working in my purpose, it just doesn't feel like enough sometimes. I am challenging this population. They are responding well to me, but I just need a confirmation.......

The next day....

The next morning I was biking to work at 815am. Usually, there are not many people up at that time in the homes of the two mothers. In the house of the women with 10 kids, I passed by to see five of them outside pulling weeds. 

Her older kids are on summer break and they hardly ever wake up early, but they woke up to pull weeds. The best part is that they listened to her request when they could have just ignored her.  
They were so proud as they looked up and waived at me. I smiled at them and then I looked straight up at the sky and said, "Thank you." He knows when I just need that jump start to keep me going. 

Don't stop believing and keep the faith in people-they won't disappoint as long as you keep your faith in them. PRIS

Love Before Sight

Of course, there is the standard love at first sight, but there is also that love before sight.  When you are so proud of someones words, their accomplishments, their intention, and their persistence. You may be in contact with this person solely through email and you can tell that you are going to have a special relationship with them. You can tell that your similar ideas, philosophies, and desires are going to collide into a powerful and intriguing conversation when you meet.  You want to spend time with that person getting to know all about them, share your stories, experiences, and your hopeful beliefs for people and community. 

When I first met Mrs. Francis, this is exactly what happened. I was arriving down the dirt road trail in the heat and I could see her in a distance. A beautiful older woman in her 60s with short blond hair ,little freckles, a white crocheted top, and jeans. We gave each other a big hug and looked like two old friends reuniting.  She was so sweet and concerned about all my time on the bus. She had my lunch prepared for me and my room all ready. 

It was the start of a beautiful friendship and from there she served as a friend, a listener, a teacher, and almost like a long lost mother. We sat in her office sharing our life experiences and  her journeys through Africa.  I sat and shared my theories about community poverty and how we can improve the MH community. She explained how the project distribution and funding component work. I learned a lot about the non-profit sponsoring, grants, and funding and how that plays out.  It was just active discussions on how we can improve things and make things better in MH and the world.

That is the most wonderful part of a good organization-the good people who want to engage in teamwork and truly listen and learn from you. There is no jealousy or competition rather there is an open environment to learn and appreciate each other.  This is when things really get done.  

Believe Again

Sometimes bad people scare you and they make you wonder why you love people so much.  Living in Morocco, my love for people was constantly questioned. There were lovely people and there were horribly dishonest people.  There were people who hurt me emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Towards the end, it felt like everyday was a challenge, but I just kept trying to make it work.  I kept trying to hold on tight to the faith I had in people and the true ability to connect with them.  While I had wonderful people in my community that I connected with and served as "friends." This was just not enough as I continued to encounter cultural barriers that lead people to be dishonest rather than direct. For instance, you would ask one question and get 5 different answers.
At the end of the day, the joke just always seemed to be on me.  

It was not the fault of the people rather it within the culture and I began to recognize this, but I still could not believe it.  People would send your head through such a roller coaster ride making  you lose track of what to believe. It made you question what you heard, what you said, what you did, and how you behaved.   It was an experience that made me truly question my faith in people.  This was a faith that had never been questioned. Perhaps it had been tested through life experiences, but it had never been questioned to this extreme.  How could people treat me this way when I am so good to them? How could they turn on me, lie to me, steal from me? Why were they engaging in such sin and claiming to have such strong morals and religious values? 

It was truly sad to see people living in such sin with such lies on a daily basis.  They never even got to know their true self as they continued to chase their false idea of truth.  It was unfortunate, but absolutely fascinating to witness such an extreme.  It really was such an extreme with there being beautiful people who followed the word of Islam and those who thought they were following the word and were just lost.  They couldn't find their way and lost their identity.  Even with all this poor treatment, I was still intrigued and wanted to learn more about this culture and why they acted in this way.  

My lovely, amazing students often commented on those just being lost and acting as a Muslim when their mind was somewhere different.  They explained to me the word of the Quran and how things are suppose to be.  My amazing students were what kept me sane in times where I felt so disappointed and frustrated.  My students gave me a dose of faith and kept me going for the time I was there. They allowed me to believe in the how truly good real people of God can be.  

After those last travels in Morocco, I returned to US and I stayed there except for trips to Scotland and Ireland where the people were fantastic, but that was kind of assumed as I heard about the great hospitality.  With Central America, I didn't know what I would be put on my plate.  

Would there be kind people and spirits coming my way or would I encounter something negative?
  
 Would God restore my faith after my traumatic experience?

Would people have open arms and open hearts?

Would their Christian religion be present in their daily actions and behavior?

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes 

God delivered and he delivered with such beauty and wonder.  Guatemala has allowed me to Believe Again in the people that I love. The conversations are of honesty, purity, and curiosity.  The people are special on the inside and they follow through on their Word.  They want to genuinely help you and not misguide you in anyway.  It's truly been something wonderful and a new beginning with a new country.  It's learning and helping those who need it and deserve it rather than engaging with negativity and people who are wasting your time. It is beautiful to see those engaged in love and honesty.  I am proud for these moments I share with Guatemalans, especially the Mayan Community.  

Thank you for helping me Believe Again.....