Some Start Young

Sometimes I meet these lovely women who are in their mid to late 30s with a big family ie 4 to 5 kids.  They are all grown up with the oldest one being in their teens-16 or 17.
It's a wonderful thing to start your family early, but I often wonder how they do it. Some started between 20 and 25
which is an average age and maybe a better way to start?

While it appears to be all about when you're ready, the realistic fact is that the longer you wait, the harder it may be to reproduce. If you have a child at 25, you will be 40 when they are 15. If you have a child at 35, you will be 50 when the child is 15. This is quite a difference, which makes me ponder how young  is too young? And how old is too old? 
 
We often judge those who irresponsibly have children very young. Those clients I have worked with who are pregnant at 12- this is clearly too young, but some people insist they are ready at 17 or 18.  Is it about maturity? The confidence in your love and relationship? The desire to reproduce?


Many older generations produced at younger ages and did not receive judgement rather it was the norm. It seeks like the early 20s are the time to have kids if you are in a committed, loving relationship and make that decision together.

 Being younger in your early 20s and late teens could bring you into the center of responsibility. It may aid in your growth process or it may lead you to continue your same lifestyle and not take care of the baby. It truly depends on your support, environment, dedication to being a mother, and the desire.


People make me feel like a proud parent.
When they follow through, When they listen.
When their eyes look at me to get my support, my acknowledgment, my praise.

These are my moments of being a parent. It is the same as having children learn how to ride a bike and you are right behind them clapping and smiling.

I love people so much. They are my absolute everything and they come through for me. With doubt comes moments of absolute wonder. When I do hold some doubt, God comes through with people.

Everything has Changed

When it comes to the number 30, it’s not the actual number rather it’s the moving into a new decade. The decade of the 20s and 30s are very different for me. It really started in the late 20s. I just became more aware of my thoughts, my action, my behavior, my reactions, my attitude, my desires, my wastes of time, my productivity, my true core being, and my life choices.


With the ten years of living large and living life to the fullest, life was   great, but something was missing.  The ability to prioritize things was out of place. While self-improvement was always a priority, there were so many things I could have done, but I didn’t take full action.


Opportunities did pass me up as I could have got into acting and event planning, but I didn’t. I worked hard and I stayed on a purposeful track helping others. Perhaps that is the way it was suppose to be. As human beings, we are greedy with our accomplishments and we always feel like we could do more. 

I could have traveled more when younger

I could have spent less time on face book.

I could have been or done something different

I could have spent more time writing.

I could have invested less time in relationships

I could have listened more to God and less to people who don’t understand my life

I could have utilized more support in times of need

I could have been more of a leader

Everyone has these real thoughts that present themselves time in and time out.  It just takes a realization that You did the best with the cards you were dealt and that’s all God would want from you. 

When it comes to this statement, “Everything has Changed,” this could not be more true at 30. Some things have changed for the better and others for the worst.  Life still keeps moving, I keep the faith, and I appreciate what I’ve learned. I couldn’t be happier to have the mind that I do. It’s like all the experiences-professional and personal are in overdrive spilling out of my brain.


The creativity, the entrepreneurial ideas, the rate of efficiency, the analysis of people, and the power of my faith. I feel like I learned enough about people to truly read them. This is a special skill, which I am the most proud of and benefits me in work, travel, spiritually, and internally.  There is just an element of peace that has come over. I don’t feel the need to accomplish and do everything. I am content with my life just writing, traveling, educating, therapy/counseling, and just being of service to others at all times.  The need for constant socialization is replaced with the need for constant service to others and building my relationship with God. 

 

Also, when it comes to outside the brain.  I’m so much more comfortable in my skin as I never truly felt beautiful. I was so insecure with my body image, especially living in Los Angeles and New York and even Chicago.

At 30, I can confidently say, “I am beautiful inside and out.” While people do comment on my “beauty,” I appreciate it, but it’s not necessary. The stamp of approval is not needed because I feel it in my own skin. It took time for that confidence to come to my life. An element of peace has come over my life and my body.

Mind+Thoughts+Action+Habit+Destiny=

                           30 

40 B4 30

I am about to hit 40 countries and I am about to hit 30. My concern about turning 30 has decreased with my traveling, which is a good thing. ..

As a human being, I have always believed I had a special potential. It's the way I have the ability to fill a room with my/his spirit. The successful therapy performed with all populations. The miraculous work with the Special needs. The ability to hear stories that are their secrets and shared just with me. This special quality is something innate that I build upon my self growth and constant learning to be the best I can be. I have grand expectations of myself, which leads my accomplishments to never be enough. I had a father who told me that I would never be good enough. This is my genetic feeling of the need for accomplishment and success. When it comes to environment, I always feel this overdose of  pressure to succeed in the US.  While this can make people competitive, productive, and motivated, it can also make one compare themselves to others success instead of focusing on their own. One can get wrapped up in never having, doing, or being enough. 

This pressure can make you fly or the pressure can make you fall. 

 Although, I have not accomplished everything I wanted by 30, I still want to fly and now I raise my expectations for success as I move into a new decade.  With the past decade of experience, education, living, writing, giving, observing, studying-it creates a perfect platform to fly high into the sky. It's such stimulation to the brain that now is the time to put it all into action.  All those ideas, theories, beliefs, experiences are going to be put into business, profit, and success.
This amazing amount of knowledge and ideas that I learn has committed to my being. Instead of being tied to one career, I am tired to a dedicated lifetime service to people through writing, education, missions, consultation, therapy, life coaching, and listening. All of these skills and experience will be combined into something great that can have a label. A label is what people need to connect success with work and experience. 


While I have not taken the marriage and children path,  there has been significant time spent learning about myself.  The self is someone that people do not spend enough time building to encourage growth and change. People jump into relationships to reach that feeling of love and commitment to a person. You can love and commit to yourself and if you want a ring to prove this- then get a ring for yourself. It doesn't make me a failure or a sad case for not settling down.  There has been opportunity to do that and I chose myself. I chose building up my career and then maybe love will come along. 

When you live a blessed life, you don't live with this fear of being alone. Someone is always keeping an eye on you and sending people to comfort, listen, assist, encourage, support, and love you.  Sometimes there are difficult days or days of uncertainty or days that you wonder what you should be by 30.

At the end of the day, I have studied my thoughts, behaviors, actions, reasoning, personality for years and years. I know myself better than anyone and  better yet I know what I am capable of and it is grand. There is such potential within my being and it took me time to grow into it, nourish it, and realize it.  This will never get old with age yet the growth of self coming from experience will continue for a lifetime.
 

God bless all the wonderful things I have done for people all around the world

God bless my true supporters who believe in me no matter what the age

God bless my writing towards books

God bless living to serve others

God bless my travels

God bless turning 30

Queen of "Vacation"

When it comes to "vacation." People who call me the "Queen of Vacations." Not one person would ever call me the "Queen of Purpose" because they feel that all I do is "go on vacations." All my education and work is not given any recognition rather I'm just someone who likes to vacation. This is an unfortunate way of thinking as people cannot connect travel with work unless your stationed with a big company in the US or abroad.  To serve the underprivileged in countries is something that is "nice to do." It's not a real job because it does involve six figures. There needs to be that "label" for someone to take you seriously otherwise you are just a girl who likes to vacation.

As I get older and I become increasingly molded into my purpose, the desire and possibility to take vacation has significantly decreased.  All my travel I want to be connected with my purpose to work with the community, schools, churches, organizations. To perform interviews and/or studies learning about the culture. 

People ask me to go to fancy beach vacations and I know that I internally know that I don't deserve it. Once I create that label and recognition for myself, it maybe a possibility. The taking a vacation just to "take one" is out of style for me. It's not a vacation that I want to focus on and that's never been my main intention. I am just discovering how to work with people in all new ways. The humans who suffer from poverty, addiction, abuse, loss, and tragedy. Those who are starving to learn English. Those who have such beautiful faith and just need inspiration and someone to believe. Those who are lost and need to find their way home. Healing broken families and empowering youth. 

This is PURPOSE. This is not a JOKE. This is a JOB. A job through GOD.

When it comes to my purpose, I am aware of it. Maybe I was not fully committed in my early 20s. Perhaps I did take more vacations back then, but I am fully aware and committed now. When you know you have responsibility and that someone who loves you more than anyone is counting on you-you must act.  You can't be wasting time on vacations rather you know you have work to do. You have a commitment and you have to stick to it.

Of course, it may not be with the UN or Doctors without Borders or the Peace Core. When you are able to work and connect with a whole community in a short period of time-this is powerful and your own label can be created in time. You work hard, be persistent, stay patient, and keep the faith. 

In Nicaragua, Belize, Guatemala- there are many things to do. Of course, I would like to enjoy a few things here and there. But when the need is presented, I have to take action.  The need has been presented from Day 1 of the trip. My purpose for being here was clear as crystal. I had no doubt with my decision to come and clarity was delivered on a silver platter. There were whispers in my ear from up above saying, "Priscilla, you have to help these people." "It's in your hands." The signs were all there and God lead the people in my direction each and everyday. 

In Leon, the need had exploded.  People told me to go see the beach and go visit this and that volcano. It was not possible to do all these things, but I did explore all the churches, explored 1 volcano, and enjoyed a couple museums next to the church. A real purpose has little time to take a vacation or enjoy. God has proved it´s never a true break for me.... 

As a human traveler, I choose to enjoy the culture, the place, and see what the city has to offer. It does not mean that I am out of my purpose or I am vacationing all the time. Also, the reality is there are days when these cities are shut down, quiet and no one is around. As a therapist, I know myself and how I function best. I function best with good food, good sleep, and mental breaks. 

Clinically, it's healthy to enjoy yourself and reward your own good behavior. When you are in a foreign country, you have the God given right to explore-especially when it comes to nature and man made wonders of the world. There is such beauty in the world and sitting in your office and never seeing it-it's a shame. For me, these times with nature are religious moments and conversations with God. It's like a Vitamin C boost where it helps me keep going. It reboots my system. I go through a laundry cycle and then I'm fresh and ready to go.

When it comes to taking those mental days of rest, it does not mean I just completely shut off like a light switch.  No matter what time or day,  I Never Stop Connecting.  It's the man driving the bus, the man cleaning boards with this two children, the pregnant woman on the roadside in my walk, the cleaner in the church, the housekeeper in my accommodation. 

There never really is a true "vacation" because Priscilla's front porch light is always turned on for people-always. 

Rarely will I not listen to someone and turn them down when they have a smile and an open heart. Those who are in need, just need some confirmation, just need a smile, just need a pat on the back, a person to sit with them on the floor, a person to listen to their music, or a person who wants to hear their food is delicious.  It's a never ending job, which makes me proud, spiritually satisfied, and touched.

It's not something I expect anyone to understand, but I hope people can know that I may have presented a certain life of vacationing in my early 20s, but those days are gone. It's about traveling with purpose and meaning to educate, believe, inspire, pray, empower, assist, and build their feeling of worth.  

Aging With Reality

We are guilty of feeding into those self-fulfilling prophecies with age. By this age you should have kids and be married. By this age a man should be a CEO, not an office worker. When we listen to society instead of own self, we cannot be surprised when things don't work out or just seem to work against us.   

The easiest way to avoid this American cultural age obsession is to leave the US.  When you are outside of it, you think about it much, much less. I found myself getting so caught up in turning "30" and how I have not reached all my goals yet.  Is the world going to end when I turn 30 and is God going to punish me for not accomplishing everything I desired? NO. When you leave and spend time in other countries- the magazines, media, friend, family and strangers comments are out of your face. You can accept and learn about who you are through introspection and cultural exchange with others rather than focusing on a number and where you should be placed.  

When one is in the US, there is a scale of numbers and an amount of accomplishments you should have met.  Any illness, bad circumstance, or personal difficulty does not matter rather you should be successful if you are 35, 40, 30, 45 etc. and living in American culture. Of course this age phenomenon is present in many cultures, but in the Mayan culture it does not seem to be present.  

In Mayan culture some of the older women work even harder than the younger. You can witness real beauty with women weaving always blankets, sweaters, clothing, table clothes, accessories, and everything. They are older women and they are beautiful with each wrinkle representing strength, courage, and hard work.  They are not working in Guatemala City for a big office rather they are engaging in their craft and that's beautiful no matter what the age.
While having a family is important and age does seem to correlate with reproducing.  There is still a large number of older numbers who reproduce later in their life. While having a child younger is encouraged, it is not a judgement based off one's age.   

What's the secret? 

There is no secret-it's wide out in the open. Enrich your life with laughter, love, sincere moments, living in your purpose, giving to others, not searching for excess, and you'll never age a day in your life.