Some Start Young

Sometimes I meet these lovely women who are in their mid to late 30s with a big family ie 4 to 5 kids.  They are all grown up with the oldest one being in their teens-16 or 17.
It's a wonderful thing to start your family early, but I often wonder how they do it. Some started between 20 and 25
which is an average age and maybe a better way to start?

While it appears to be all about when you're ready, the realistic fact is that the longer you wait, the harder it may be to reproduce. If you have a child at 25, you will be 40 when they are 15. If you have a child at 35, you will be 50 when the child is 15. This is quite a difference, which makes me ponder how young  is too young? And how old is too old? 
 
We often judge those who irresponsibly have children very young. Those clients I have worked with who are pregnant at 12- this is clearly too young, but some people insist they are ready at 17 or 18.  Is it about maturity? The confidence in your love and relationship? The desire to reproduce?


Many older generations produced at younger ages and did not receive judgement rather it was the norm. It seeks like the early 20s are the time to have kids if you are in a committed, loving relationship and make that decision together.

 Being younger in your early 20s and late teens could bring you into the center of responsibility. It may aid in your growth process or it may lead you to continue your same lifestyle and not take care of the baby. It truly depends on your support, environment, dedication to being a mother, and the desire.


People make me feel like a proud parent.
When they follow through, When they listen.
When their eyes look at me to get my support, my acknowledgment, my praise.

These are my moments of being a parent. It is the same as having children learn how to ride a bike and you are right behind them clapping and smiling.

I love people so much. They are my absolute everything and they come through for me. With doubt comes moments of absolute wonder. When I do hold some doubt, God comes through with people.

Youth, Gangs, Shots Fired

As for the youth age 14-20, I had individual sessions with them about their life struggles, environmental pressure, handling anger, family situations, social supports, making short term and long term goals, jobs, and independent living skills.  It was difficult to meet with the youth because of the time frame I had allotted for youth. With my  curfew at Monkey Bay, I could only run the youth groups from 2 to 5 and this was not the time the youth were available.  Youth came out after 6 or 6:30 and for my Director, this was past dark and past my curfew.  I did the best that I could with the youth I did meet. I also personally went to the homes to stop by and meet them.  Many times they were not home, but at least I tried. 

As for my youth I did meet, they were all boys with the exception of a few girls.  The one young girl was completely house bound.  She was home schooled and only let out of the house with adult supervision.   She was sixteen and one could imagine how tough this must me for a young girl.  Her mother wanted to protect her from all the trouble going on outside, which there was trouble. Drug use, burglary/theft, and promiscuous behaviors i.e. girls pregnant at 12 years old. We discussed some ways to find her freedom and enjoy herself. I requested to speak with her mother, but her mother was working during the day. 

 One young boy was applying to work at a computer store and we practiced interviewing. Another was just turning his life around from gangs and fighting. He found himself in the same struggle most do-trying to stay away. This was very common territory and it flash backed right to Compton when I worked with those caught in gang wars.  It's truly such an awful thing when you want out of a gang, but you are stuck living right in the middle of it.  

The thing with gangs in Belize is that there is red vs. blue and there is the power of association.  This is present in all gangs, but in Belize it seems like more of a chain effect.  When you are a part of the gang, everyone around you is involved.  Just 2 boys were killed that day at the local store. Shot. Point blank. They had no gang association, but their cousin did so they shot them.  It was so sad what was happening just when I was there. There was one death after the next with gang violence. 

 One of our mentors, Mama Jones, did not show up for her jewelry lesson because her grandson was shot and killed. It was all connected with this person knowing that person and a whole community left completely saddened. How could something like this happen all in just one week? It was complete tragedy hearing one story after the next all due to gang violence.

 Of course nothing is being done by the government to prevent this rather it continues to be problematic in the community.   Even Mama Jones said, there is nothing that we can do rather we just have to pray. And that is what we did. We prayed for those young souls lost due to gang violence.

Bus and Purpose

Matias is a 18 year old Belizian. He looks like a cute Spanish soap opera star. I realize that there are many Spanish and Belizian "mixed breeds."  He lives in Belmopan and we meet on the bus heading towards Belize City. He shares his parent's interest in him becoming a lawyer, but he is more interested in science. He is clearly a bit conflicted on what to do with his life, which is normal for someone his age.  He is very curious about my work and how I figured out my passion. He looks up at me with his brown eyes 
saying,



"How did you know that is what you wanted to do for the rest of your life?"

Wow, what a loaded question. I explained to him my feelings associated with my purpose, my experiences, and  I shared with him my work and feelings associated with my purpose.  He seemed to be a Belizian who had opportunity, which was great to witness. His father was an Army general and his mother worked for the embassy. He was such a nice boy and our chat was meaningful for the both of us. He gave me a big hug when he left, it was so cute. Bus therapy session number 1000 accomplished. CBC