Taxicab confessions

When you feel down, he sends Angels. It's just plain and simple when you have a deep relationship with God. 

Walking from the third police station back to the hostel to get my bag was only a few minutes. Of course I was thankful for this as I did not want to accept a ride from the police officer after I was trying to make a statement about the injustice. 

Arriving back to the hostel, my plan was to grab my bag and head directly to the airport. 4 hours early? No problem. I just wanted to go home for the first time on the trip. You experience problems and you seek comfort. 

Outside in front there was a guy sleeping in his cab, I banged at his window a few times(not very considerate, but business is business). He gives me a ride for $20, which is $10 less than the usual fare. Clearly he sensed my aggravation and he was the person to listen to it all. 

Talking to him felt like talking to an insightful therapist or psychologist. He had such insight into his own culture and the behaviors presented. He said some people are just completely ignorant while some people are nice-it really is case by case. While this whole good people and bad people thing is true, the cases proved themselves more than a few times- at least ten. This waitress at the restaurant who completely snubbed me and helped all the locals- this was real and happening in front of me. He did confirm my belief that Panama is discriminatory against Americans or to specify- does not like female backpackers. 

As he kept listening and responding, I realized this was all coming from personal experience. He was a therapist on his job while driving in the car. This was his profession too: listening to people's, problems and stories. He comforted, gave reassurance, and was helpful. Everything he did for me worked. He calmed me down, listened, validated my opinions, and thoughts. All his quotes and life references, it all successfully worked. 

When I informed him that there was a show in USA called "Taxicab Confessions", he could not believe it.  It was his idea to go move to New York and start taping. Taxicab driver really are therapists. It's a space where many people open up about their life and feelings. People know they will never see this person again so why not let it all out? 

This taxi driver was also religious and quoted some scripture. He made me feel hopeful and be more optimistic about my interactions with the Panama culture. As we were driving in the airport, there was some Bryan Adams song playing. The lyrics matched exactly what he said, it was a total "aha" moment. 

              This was IT

It was the end of the trip and this man was sitting and reassuring me of the beauty of people. His whole mission the taxi ride was to make me happy.

Mission accomplished! 

La Buena Onda

La Buena Onda was my hostel of choice for Matagalpa. It was one that I booked from Leon and boy was I happy with my decision. As I read in reviews, this place was rated as a hotel. It was super clean with a  nice courtyard, a flat screen T.V. with DVd selection, nice food options for breakfast and snacks, decorated rooms/huge bathrooms, hammocks, rocking chairs, and a nice balcony.  All at the whopping $7 a night (the price of a Subway sandwich meal).  This was the happening place for travelers and there were a couple big groups. One from USA and the other  bgroup from France. I didn’t take much interest in the groups, but there were some nice solo travelers to get to know.

The best two girls were working at the front desk.  The one girl was 18 years old and stuck in a shell (Project 1).  She was too afraid to speak with English guests because she had fear they would laugh at her English (common fear).  It was so cute as she would always hang out near me to talk.  Sometimes she would not initiate conversation, but she would just come close to my space-to my spirit.  She loved having someone to talk with about her life and dreams. She loved Math science and dreamed of being an Engineer.  Noone took the time to just hear her speak, to listen, to smile, and let her know her dreams are possible. Many of these travelers have the ability to travel the world, they have the knowledge, the skills, and they don’t share it except with other travelers. How does that make sense when someone local needs much more. They are curious as could be wondering about YOUR life. They love to hear your stories, experiences, passions-share it with them. It’s not just me who has the ability to listen and respond-it’s not.

Tourists are not expected to sit and practice English for realistic situations of the hostel. Priscilla had the duty to help this girl face her fear with English-to give her homework, reading assignments, and suggestions on movies/ videos with lyrics, and to challenge her day by day.  The tourists could just have a few simple questions and listen a bit more, but this is not required of them. I spent time working with her because she demonstrated motivation and a desire to learn English. The one tourist thought I was an employee because I was spending time with her. Why would a tourist spend time with a local teaching her?

When teaching her, she soaked up what I said like a sponge and retained it perfectly.  It’s like she had just been waiting for a good teacher to come along.  She was such a sweet girl who just wanted what every other 18 year old had in life. 

One day, I instructed her go up to the group and ask them “What are your plans for tomorrow?” They were totally nice and friendly (many tourists might be clueless, but most are nice and respectful to staff).  That moment was precious to me and she came back with a confidence. She continued to practice a few more conversations independent of my instruction! 

These moments are the ones that make my purpose worth it.  They light up my spirit and make me thankful I spent this time with her instead of watching a movie, writing, or reading a book.  This is a human life I am impacting. There is nothing better than that-nothing.

Case Number 2

The other girl was around my age and had two children.  She lived in USA for ten years, therefore, her English was absolutely perfect.  She shared with me all her struggles on Day 1(very common for my daily work).  We brainstormed how to make things work as she had no one to babysit her kids and she had enough money for just 3 days a week.  The owners(Netherland and local woman) were not really too accommodating or helpful with her taking off work. They were already pretty patient with her schedule changes. She was just a single mother trying to do everything on her own and my heart went out to her.

One day she mentioned her son was sick and home alone. She was so worried and I could tell she was a good mother. This made me want to help her. Her house was only two blocks from the hostel so I offered to go over there to check on him.  She was so happy and thankful.  For me, it was just something to do of service.

When I hear someone in need, it’s my job to try and help them or assist them in finding a solution.  It’s just the nature of the work from up above. Again, people don’t understand the reasoning, but we do. We get it. 

 

The Last Supper Dos

                      

Overtime, the last day is not necessarily the most difficult.  When you make your presence, time, and commitment crystal clear from the beginning, the final goodbye becomes easier.  It's when you show up, make connections, take some photos and leave. This is problematic and just completely wrong to do.  With people being my ultimate love and purpose in life, I have to make a true commitment to not let them down. Of course, I may disappoint or make people feel sad with my departure, but it's never intentional.  I only want the best for them and I try my best to give them my all in the time I have. 

Not to mention, these people were special. There were connections made in short time, stories exchanged, motivational talks, spiritual guidance, and independence grown. I am truly not the one doing the teaching rather they are teaching me about their life, their choices, their experiences and I am always learning from them.

We are a co-created team of voices that learn from each other. They need the belief in their potential and being to rise to the occasion.  These people didn't feel supported in this church and it was up to them to build their support from the inside.  Just like my church Willow Creek, they have to build their own sections and supporters. It doesn't just come from a sermon or getting meals each week.  In this case here, it was just about the meals each week-a typical occurrence for many churches I have seen in Central America.

At this last meal with my new friends, I arrived ten minutes late, which is not great because they have a tendency to eat and leave. It's always hectic the last day because I am trying to say goodbye to everyone in town-difficult mission.

It was a grand entrance with the royal red carpet in front of the church- no way.   There was the same group sitting in the corner under the tree and a few sitting in the shade eating their food. A few of them waived and I walked in where I was immediately greeted by Rosa. Whenever she saw me, she greeted me for one second and then asked a million questions. There was Jorge sitting at the table with his cowboy hat smiling big and he said he would come to Chicago one day to see me-cute.

My special needs girl was there sitting at the end of the table.  There I sat with all the questions and goodbyes and Dios contigo(may god be with you).  They were interested in knowing where I was going next and why I couldn't stay with them. This splits my heart in half, but there's always going to be people to serve and I can't stay with all of them forever. When you are pretty much the only one acknowledging this population and you leave, it's difficult. We were all smiling and laughing and I walked around giving some motivational speeches, "Keep believing, Keep the faith, Count on each other, talk and support each other, keep singing, utilize your friends as support."  I encouraged them to meet after the meal time in a small group to discuss their week and goals. This worked for the older men and some women joined together, but many just dispersed after they finished eating. 

Someone had the quote if you can positively impact one person or cause them to think different then your job is done for the day.  Of course, I want to help everyone and be superwoman, but that's just not realistic with this population.  The acknowledgement and motivation makes an impact on the being. 

After their meal, I sat outside with people having the inspirational talks, the hugs, the pats on the back, the smiles, and the handshakes. The one husband who had to ride 30 miles to work by bike in the sweltering heat, to make sure his kids were fed each day, said

 "I know Jesus will guide me to a better job, but we just don't know when."

It's priceless to see what faith these people have and some would say that faith is all they need, but I disagree.  These people deserve more human attention and more real caring and support. Al, 

 who sings and plays guitar in restaurants knows his purpose, but it doesn't pay the bills.  He doesn't have a place to live, but he has purpose.  

Does purpose trump "Maslow's Hierarchy of needs?"

Or does he need to keep working, believing, and praying for his growth of his purpose? Eventually, his purpose should align with his needs, but right now he may need to focus on another job to help him.  The problem that everyone has is that the jobs are "not available," which is partially true.

There are so many different environmental factors that go in their current situation, but I hope I shed some light on how important it is to believe in people.  To just let them talk to you, share some things about yourself and show you're human.         That's all I can ask.... That's all I can ask. 

When I leave I just have to pray for God to take care of these people. It's up to him to keep up his love, support, and miracles.

Out of respect their is limited photos with this population.  It's not respectful to take photos inside the church. 

Sometimes it's best to put the camera to the side.

Take Your Travel Vow

Back in my Loyola days, I remember all my friends were going to study abroad and being a college student I also wanted to share the experience at Loyola University in Rome. I applied for my first passport and bought a new pink suitcase with black trim.  My finances were not great as I would have to take out an additional student loan to assist with the plane ticket.  Regardless of the finances, I  decided to go and make it work. 

After my decision, I then experience travelers DOUBTA-the initial excitement about your decision mixed with doubt and desire to seek approval from others(PRIS).  Therefore, I consulted my mother who immediately advised me against going abroad.  I also consulted two of my close friends who also said it was bad idea and too expensive.  It was a constant, downhill response from my environment and others around me.

As one could imagine, this lead me down one path “No.” Something I was so excited about doing and my adventurous spirit wanting to go abroad and my being and decision was held back by the environment. It is important to note the crowd can be your friends, parents, co-workers, or classmates-anyone in your immediate circle or environment.  These people in the crowd are not necessarily the most knowledgable people about new experiences, money, finance, or world travels yet you are taking your advice from them. 

This is a consistent problem I notice among travelers.  When you are taking advice from Barbara who has never left the country except on an Alaskan cruise or Terry who visits Las Vegas and says she travels far or Janet who travels to Cancun staying in the All inclusives. Houston we have a problem-a big problem.

Within the American culture, it is normal to have it's own Americanized version of travel.
A person may believe they are traveling, but there is a fine line between vacation  and travel.  It comes from not only the definition, but the ultimate interpretation of the overall experience (PRIS).  A person may have their yearly family vacation where they spend all their time with the family and have no interaction with culture.  Another person may travel to India by themselves hike up mountains, eat different kinds of food, stay in villages, and make friends with numerous locals. These are not the same thing and this may lead to someone in your environment steering you in the wrong direction.  The only person you can listen to is yourself. 
  

After my experience with studying abroad in Rome, I made a vow to be the only person who controls my travel.  I will not be influenced by those who have an American mindset to travel, which is built inside a certain standard and expectation for travel.  To sum it up, most Americans are afraid of real travel and they stay inside their comfort zones.  This is engrained in the culture and it is normal for people to respond in this manner or it is normal to respond with: fear.  People are afraid of truly exploring themselves, being vulnerable to a new culture, going off track, going the distance, getting rid of the electronics, staying in a place other than a hotel.  The idea of real adventure travel is foreign to many people and the idea of going away for such long periods of time is also foreign.

Who’s going to take care of my cat?

What is my job going to say?

How am I going to afford a long trip and pay my bills?

What if instead of answering to society or someone else. We just answered to ourselves? What about YOU?




Do you seek knowledge about yourself on a deeper level?



Do you want to learn about different philosophies and religions, but you never have the time.

Do you crave something new, different, adventurous, spontaneous?

Do you want to learn real geography without a world map or google maps?

Do you need to complete your sense of self utilizing the world’s tools for discovery?

It is not always about being responsible to others, but it is about being responsible to you.   By being aware to the importance of your own self over the importance of your job- you can take charge of your being and life.  You may not be floating in a world of materialism, but having a grasp of your identity and who you truly are and what your want out of life is more important that any pay check can provide.

Take charge of YOU and the rest will fall in place PRIS