Family in Trouble

Another case was presented to me with a troubled family living near the center. There were three boys who attended the library each day.  The older one, 17, and he was the caretaker of the family.  The middle aged one, 12, was a pretty good student and stayed out of trouble. The youngest one, 11, had been severely suffering from his family life. The father was an alcoholic and the mother was a question mark as the truth about her was not disclosed.

The younger boy was the one that Mrs. Kat wanted me to work with each day. It was clear that he needed some extensive therapy. He had severe ADHD, poor social skills, attachment issues, and difficulty addressing adults properly and making requests. Of course he was a smart boy, but he spent more time goofing off  inside and outside of school. He had ran away from home on a few occasions and teachers report says that he is always trouble in class. He is labeled as "the problem child," which leads people to avoid working with him and trying to help him. Instead they just focus on his label.  It's a sad, unfortunate reality with many kids.

Working together with him was difficult, but not impossible. He presented a bit shy and closed off, but warmed up to me in short time. He rarely attended the library and did not keep our appointments, but with some motivation he surprised me with his eagerness to learn.  He would come with a pencil and a notebook. Everyone was shocked, but not me. I just did my job and believed.  He had to request to take breaks and he was given allotted times to stay seated.  He did not always follow along, but he had someone who believed. He gave me hugs and asked about how long I would be staying. It was never a surprise rather I was always honest and upfront from the beginning about how long I would stay. He made some progress right in front of my eyes and he was passed down to the staff.  I told them to not give up on him and to spend time working with him with a list of therapeutic activities including: anger management, social skills, and listening.
   
**Nothing is impossible when it comes to people.** 

While the middle brother was performing well, the older brother made some changes right in front of my eyes.  His attendance decreased, he missed a couple days of school, and he was not showering. There was clear pain sitting in his eyes. Every teacher commented on it and I saw what was happening. While the younger one was the focus, the older one was crying out for help. 

 After my work, we took walks on the beach and talked about his life problems.  He did not want to share the details of what was happening, but I already had an idea from the behavior of the younger one.  Together we wrote down and built a support network for him, a journal, ways to stay active, and people he can turn to for help.  He reported feeling worried confiding in a staff in fear they may tell his family secret. It's just a matter of time before it comes out.    

In the family dynamic, the responsibility is generally assigned to an older child. He becomes the responsible one when his parents are not properly caring for their children. He can follow through on his tasks, but sooner or later the pressure settles in and he begins to break.  He can't be the one who watches over Javier and makes sure he completes his homework.  He can't be the one who does the dishes everyday. He just wants to be a kid and not have to bear such responsibility at such a young age.  He wants a father who cares for him and a mother who does her part.

May the Lord watch over this family on their darkest days.
 May the Lord be with these children at times of need.
May the Lord remind them of their place in the world
May the Lord lift them up in his arms on days of sadness
May the Lord give his spirit for support and love within them
                                      
 PRIS

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